RICHARD WATSON, scholar and spelunker extraordinaire is back. Having told how to win the fight against fat in The Philosopher's Diet, and having painted the definitive portrait of philosopher Rene Descartes (Cogito, Ergo Sum), he here confronts his most difficult challenge: how he learned to speak French. Already an accomplished reader of French, Watson found himself forced to learn to speak the language when he was invited to present a paper in Paris - in French. A private crash course and lessons at the Alliance Francaise only served to point out how difficult it can be to learn any foreign language, especially later in life. As he confronts his own national prejudices, Watson weaves in digressions on the contrasts between France and America, on the mysteries of French engineering, and on eccentric French cavers. This wry, witty book is not just for anyone who has ever tried to learn another language, but for anyone who has yearned desperately to learn something and worked to the limit to achieve it.